|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| After looking through hundreds of pictures, I've decided this was a
damn good summer. I know I took some of it for granted. I was busy
missing certain aspects of my life and watching doors close rather than
taking the time to appreciate the potential sitting right in front of
me. Silly me. This summer...I ate a lot, explored a lot, laughed a lot,
and loved a lot.
Now I can focus on connecting the dots.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dots, connect already.
Each suite had one. This one hung in mine.
The Search by Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends
I went to find the pot of gold
That's waiting where the rainbow ends.
I searched and searched and searched and searched
And searched and searched, and then -
There it was, deep in the grass,
Under an old and twisty bough.
It's mine, it's mine, it's mine at last...
What do I search for now? | | |
| I've had more than enough time (two months to be exact) to reenergize. I felt burnt out after a long, draining, beautiful year of caring for everyone, but myself. It's only natural to burn out after the year I had. It's ironic how sometimes I felt like there's nothing left to give, yet I always find more. I never thought my heart had the capacity to hold this much love, but it does and I'm grateful.
I thought I needed a full year to connect the dots, to piece my life back together again or at least figure out what those pieces look like. What I thought would take an entire year only took two months. The familar feeling of wanting to go somewhere, anywhere is slowly making its way back into my daily existence.
If you asked me where I'd be after I graduate, my answer would have been anywhere but here. Somehow I find myself here. How did that happen? I had plans....big, exciting plans. In a nutshell, I left them on the back burner because I couldn't get my shit together. I put others before myself and I don't regret it one bit.
Applications and deadlines came and went. Some were filled out half-heartedly due to the constraints of time and other more important commitments, while others were shifted from the priority pile to the scratch paper pile. After a while, a year "off" looked more and more attractive. Settling in a house in Irvine for a year looked pretty good too. I didn't have the heart to leave the loves of my life. Now I find myself staying for all of the wrong reasons.
Irvine was only supposed to be a layover until I graduate yet I found myself getting comfortable and putting down roots. It's something I absolutey needed to do after being so flighty, but it's time to catch another flight out. After Paris, I told myself I would only return to UCI to finish my degree then I'd be off on another tumultuous, life-altering, shaken to the core adventure. Somehow I find myself still here. How did that happen? I had plans...big, exciting plans.
After the dust settled, I started to remember what those big, exciting plans were. I don't belong in the suburbs of Orange County. I learned that lesson two years ago. Actually, I could easily say I knew that my entire life. It's like I'm a little fish swimming in a little fishbowl on a window sill overlooking the ocean. I see the potential out there, but I'm merely on the inside looking out. I'm not an active participant. I'm a mover and a shaker yet I'm not moving nor am I shaking. Something's got to change. I need a change of scenery. Actually, I need more than a change of scenery. I need to continue to live my life rather than standing still watching everyone else live their lives. It's time to go.
---------------------
8.25.06
I was going to continue this entry, but I've decided to keep it unfinished....kind of like my life right now. Everything is up in the air. I could easily move to norcal or the east coast by the end of this year. That's the exciting part about being 23 - I could chase my dreams around the world and back again without thinking twice.
| | |
| UCI Summer Sessions is holding a free summer film series. There's
a raffle and the prizes are free sailing lessons for UCI affiliates
(i.e. staff, faculty, and students). I don't qualify. The
other prize is a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore. Fill out
a form, stick it in the box. Check one: student, faculty,
staff, or visitor. I'm nothing more than a visitor.
| | |
| 
One last hall picture for the road. The first two Hobbitrons are moving out this morning. Wednesday morning - how did we get to this day already? I'm much more sad about leaving my hall than graduation itself. To me, Friday means one last night in Hobbiton with my Hobbitrons, not my very last day as a UCI undergrad. I'm walking in two days. Meeh. I'm excited, but the love for my hall trumps my excitement. The plan is to scurry on over to the Bren at 3pm. Sit through the ceremony. Eat dinner with the parents then scurry back to my hall for a lovely last night with the Hobbitrons that consists of no sleep whatsoever. I loved this year and I will always love them even when we move out of this place we've called home for the last nine months. Goodbye Hobbiton. Hello Redwood Tree Lane.
| | |
| Best. Hall. Ever.
Black & White Beach Cocktail Party Extravaganza aka Hobbiton End of the Year Banquet.
I have the cutest looking residents dressed in black & white.
Set up took an hour longer than expected. Banquet started at 7pm instead of 6pm. It's all good though.
Last group picture made me cry. Just looking at them standing there together was too much. I wanted to take it all in one last time and that made me break down and shed many wet tears of sadness.
I pulled myself together and headed back to Hobbiton - where it all began - to watch the slideshow my residents put together. I think I might put one together and burn it on a CD for them.
Touch Game came next. I was too occupied with making sure the game went smoothly and everyone keeping silent to be in the sad, crying mood.
Then, we did an open forum type thing where anyone and everyone could share their first impressions, what they will miss most about this year, thank you's, and goodbye's.
Touch Game plus open forum went for about 3 hours. We have crazy love for our hall! The open forum was when I really lost it...again. Talking about ending the year and how much they mean to me just hit a soft spot. I love them so much and it's going to be hard to let them go after spending this amazing year together.
It's crazy to think I wrote we would end the year as a family in the letter I sent them before they moved in and here we are at the end of the year....walking away as a family.
Hobbiton 05-06, thank you for all of the laughter, smiles, tears, happy times, sad times, fun and random nights. I will never forget you.
| | |
|
